Never thought I would ever say that!
So I signed up to do a 5K, a local one, at night. Mom was going to do it with me, but I kept changing my mind and plans got all screwy...
The day of the race I still wasn't sure if I was going to do it. I had already registered, but honestly was scared to do it alone. I didn't have anyone pushing me, like the last one, what if I get hurt, what if I can't finish.
There I go again being all supportive and confident in myself.
Even driving over to the course I wasn't sure if I was going to make it past packet pickup. It was a smaller race - only about 100 people doing the 5k but there was also a 1/2 marathon, so maybe 300 people.
I walked up to the table, got my shirt and my bib and turned up the music. I thought if I just act like I'm supposed to be there, no one will notice that I'm terrified.
Half Marathon starts.
5K starts about 20mins after. I'm at the back of the pack....for the entire run. Of course everyone starts off jogging. So I do too. Bad decision.
So now that stupid voice in my head starts in about how the course goes right by my car....
But I don't, I didn't.
I basically started arguing with myself. I know that sounds crazy...but at that point, I think I'm the last one, I can't see the ones in front of me and people are starting to pass me coming back....I was trying to tell myself that what I was doing was great! No matter depressing and embarrassing it felt. I couldn't compare myself to others -
"No!, you will feel worse if you quit, no matter how you do, you are doing it!"
That was pretty much the conversation I had with myself the entire 3 miles. I kinda became my own motivation - I had to prove myself wrong!
I would jogg some and walk alot. I was really nervous about running in the dark and the roads weren't smooth - no inclines but the road was "bumpy" for a lack of a better word. I'm gonna say that slowed me down too.
Anyway - so I get to the end - jogg to and through the finish line....a camera flash goes off. I'm done!!
I did it! The clock showed 55mins. The picture shows my eyes closed, exhaustion and that I have a long way to go!
My next race is July 17th.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Does this race make my butt look fast???
HAHAHA! I saw this shirt the other night and thought it was hilarious!
I have so much to catch up on! Since my last post back in March (tsk tsk), I made it to the Beach 2 Bay relay race!
It was so much fun to get everyone together and to come together for something other than dinner and/or drinks. Not that I am not all for that too, but it was a good to see us all get together for a more healthy cause.
I was so nervous, I tried to keep up a strong face that I was ready - but I was not. I don't think it really hit me that I was really going to do this until I got out of the truck at my drop off point. Up to that point it was all about getting the right shorts, the shirt, the running bra, new shoes, ear buds, the right songs to listen to, and so on and so on. Oh ya and it was POURING down rain!
So I'm trying to pysch myself up and standing there watching all of the "professional racers" shiver in the rain and trying to shield themselves from the wind and rain behind porter pottys...I was praying for the announcement that the race is cancelled.
2 hours later, no announcement, all the made up stretches and copying the moves and preparedness of all the others standing around me.....Mom came through the check point with the baton.
CRAP....it's my turn.
At this point, I'm soaked, clothes are heavy, socks are squishy, I'm pissed off and still no announcement to save my ass from what I know will be pure humiliation and defeat.
How do I turn off that voice in my head that tells me nothing but "you can't do it".
For the first mile and a half, by this point the rain had stopped, Mom is walking with me....hang on - how does she do it? She's already completed her 4miles, she's offered to walk with me for my 4miles, we're walking, I'm making it more miserable for both of us....and I can't keep up with her. ugh
So now I'm focusing my anger on her to get me through it. Sorry Mom - Love you!
By mile 2.5 I've started to get over myself and have decided not to quit - I ran every possible way to get myself out of finishing this, from exaggerate an injury to weighing how mad everyone else will be if I quit and would it be worth that sacrifice.
The time it took me to run all of that BS through my head I had made it to mile 3. Everyone, but Wayne and Hailey, were there on the sidewalk to cheer me on! Although they were all drinking beer, I decided not to hold that against them and use it for inspiration....there's beer at the end of the race!!
I honestly don't think I would have finished if they hadn't been there to push me further. It really motivated me to see them there and know they were supporting me.
I couldn't believe it, shortly after that point, I started jogging. Not for very long, but I had not done anything but walk before. Even my "training" only consisited of walking and one slight incline that I jogged up just to get it over with.
Maybe the adrenaline or endorphines kicked in, but I would jogg a little bit and walk, then jog some more!
I jogged into my finish point and handed off to Hailey!
I didn't clock my time exactly, but it was around 1hr 10mins. Everyone had a goal of about 45mins.
I was off, but I finished and that is good enough for me!
I have so much to catch up on! Since my last post back in March (tsk tsk), I made it to the Beach 2 Bay relay race!
It was so much fun to get everyone together and to come together for something other than dinner and/or drinks. Not that I am not all for that too, but it was a good to see us all get together for a more healthy cause.
I was so nervous, I tried to keep up a strong face that I was ready - but I was not. I don't think it really hit me that I was really going to do this until I got out of the truck at my drop off point. Up to that point it was all about getting the right shorts, the shirt, the running bra, new shoes, ear buds, the right songs to listen to, and so on and so on. Oh ya and it was POURING down rain!
So I'm trying to pysch myself up and standing there watching all of the "professional racers" shiver in the rain and trying to shield themselves from the wind and rain behind porter pottys...I was praying for the announcement that the race is cancelled.
2 hours later, no announcement, all the made up stretches and copying the moves and preparedness of all the others standing around me.....Mom came through the check point with the baton.
CRAP....it's my turn.
At this point, I'm soaked, clothes are heavy, socks are squishy, I'm pissed off and still no announcement to save my ass from what I know will be pure humiliation and defeat.
How do I turn off that voice in my head that tells me nothing but "you can't do it".
For the first mile and a half, by this point the rain had stopped, Mom is walking with me....hang on - how does she do it? She's already completed her 4miles, she's offered to walk with me for my 4miles, we're walking, I'm making it more miserable for both of us....and I can't keep up with her. ugh
So now I'm focusing my anger on her to get me through it. Sorry Mom - Love you!
By mile 2.5 I've started to get over myself and have decided not to quit - I ran every possible way to get myself out of finishing this, from exaggerate an injury to weighing how mad everyone else will be if I quit and would it be worth that sacrifice.
The time it took me to run all of that BS through my head I had made it to mile 3. Everyone, but Wayne and Hailey, were there on the sidewalk to cheer me on! Although they were all drinking beer, I decided not to hold that against them and use it for inspiration....there's beer at the end of the race!!
I honestly don't think I would have finished if they hadn't been there to push me further. It really motivated me to see them there and know they were supporting me.
I couldn't believe it, shortly after that point, I started jogging. Not for very long, but I had not done anything but walk before. Even my "training" only consisited of walking and one slight incline that I jogged up just to get it over with.
Maybe the adrenaline or endorphines kicked in, but I would jogg a little bit and walk, then jog some more!
I jogged into my finish point and handed off to Hailey!
I didn't clock my time exactly, but it was around 1hr 10mins. Everyone had a goal of about 45mins.
I was off, but I finished and that is good enough for me!
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